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January 2019


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Article

Thursday October 7, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Shakespeare wrote, 'Falce face must hide what the false heart doth know.' So basically, be cautious near the cosmetics counter at your local department store. Those people smile too much. And watch out for the perfume spritzer ladies, too. | more...

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Thursday September 30, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Airplane seats are designed to be uncomfortable. The airlines have a deal with the painkiller industry. Conspiracy! | more...

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Thursday September 23, 2004 12:04 am EDT
They found a finger in a soda can once. You think about that sanitary fact the next time you go for a cool, refreshing Tab. | more...

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Thursday September 23, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Dawsonville dweller Walter Victor treks intown to snap Braves games | more...

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Thursday September 16, 2004 12:04 am EDT
In case of hurricanes, experts say to stock up on bottled water. Perhaps you'll be knocked unconscious by the flying plastic bottles before a house falls on you. Hurricanes don't play around, folks. Evacuation is the best plan of attack. | more...

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Thursday September 16, 2004 12:04 am EDT
In the eye of the folks | more...

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Thursday September 9, 2004 12:04 am EDT
A construction site is a poor place for a polo match. Everyone would get their nice clothes dirty and the horses might step on a nail or something. Plus, you'd probably get heckled by construction workers. | more...

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Thursday September 9, 2004 12:04 am EDT
(But only one term) | more...

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Thursday September 2, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Or, why I learned to read | more...

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Thursday September 2, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Listen carefully: Waterproof sunblock is a lie. Don't fall for it. The only thing that waterproof sunblock gets you is nice and burned. In these waning days of summer, you should reapply ... you reapply like your life depends on it. | more...

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Wednesday August 25, 2004 12:04 am EDT
And pay the gas bill | more...

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Wednesday August 25, 2004 12:04 am EDT
“In the 2004 Olympic Games, gymnastics has not been very popular with ticket buyers. This means resources are being directed elsewhere. So if you get hit in the face by an off-course tumbling routine, it might take awhile for the ambulance to arrive. Best to sit further back.” | more...

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Thursday August 19, 2004 12:04 am EDT
No nouveaux is good nouveaux | more...

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Thursday August 19, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Lightning strikes the tallest person in a group. So you should always be friends with at least one basketball player or supermodel. But not too good of friends, since you're basically using them as a lightning decoy. And that could be awkward if it ever came up. | more...

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Thursday August 19, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Music, games and business with Fuzzy Breakfast Productions | more...

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Thursday August 12, 2004 12:04 am EDT
This duck is a woman now | more...

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Thursday August 12, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Vamp replaces camp in Sandy Springs | more...

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Thursday August 12, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Remember: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. And ... also whether or not it's on a leash. And whether you have a bone or some doggie treats. Or some tranquilizers. | more...

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Thursday August 5, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Hey, Myrrr-tle! | more...

Article

Thursday August 5, 2004 12:04 am EDT
Humane accommodations at a Fayetteville home | more...